KATAKANA

Few days ago, I received an email from the SunAcademy with housing info.  Finally. My to-be educators from SANC endowed us with information as to what we will be calling our otaku for the summer. I got so excited to see my Tokyo-studio (man, I had no idea this was going to rhyme…radically cool….) that I frantically clicked on the link attached to the email. With increased heart-beat, I was hoping for a beautiful English description of my Japanese-home-

swweet-home, somehow not realizing that Japanese characters are not only used in “Japanese the Spoken Language” but also on the world wide web. Well, my initial shock/disappointment was replaced by a set of rational steps – ok, what do we have here…so there’s a bunch of characters….oh, the characters…I’m not even trying…but oh, what’s that…this looks familiar, I’ve seen that before…it’s KATAKANA!...of course, I can read that one!!!

Well, not really . I have reached the most painful realization of my insufficient linguistic skills – I can’t read/write the piece-of-cake, learn-in-first-two-weeks-in-September alphabet, the despised Katakana. (oh, the sound pierces my ears….). I feel really embarrassed to admit it, but my dear friends, it must be said that despite reaching L2 Japanese, I still can’t read/write the most basic alphabet. (Dear Light Fellowship Committee please don’t judge me.)

I really have no idea what’s going on between me and Katakana. (Sometimes I imagine Katakana as the mean old lady in my hometown’s grocery store –  pronounced in the most obnoxious voice imaginable: “is that all, young man!?!”). I seriously have no problems with hiragana – I can read it, I can write it.  Quickly and correctly. Yet, with Katakana, I’ve always struggled. I have spent hours and hours filling practice sheets or memorizing flashcards; but despite all my efforts, there seems to be an unbridgeable gap between me and the grocery store lady, between me and Katakana. Somehow, deep inside, I feel that my disliking for the alphabet has something to do with its unelegant geometricity, harsh lines and lacking curves or with its innately alien nature (used uniquely to denote foreign terms, Katakana is so un-Japanese…thus foreign, thus unnatural, thus bad). Or whatever.

Long story made short, no matter what, I just can’t get Katakana right. The moment I run to a sentence containing a Katakana word, I either skip the word (written in the abhorred alphabet it can’t be that meaningful anyway) or dismiss the entire sentence (the purity of beautifully simple hiragana and enigmatic kanji has been tainted after all).

NEVERTHELESS, despite the always reoccurring Katakana failings, I have made a brave decision: I will fight Katakana and will win. I have restarted my practice sheets/flashcards efforts. I have set my mind on a seemingly simple yet, at least for me, quite challenging goal – mastering the geometric tyrant, Katakana.

It’s been only a week that I’ve engaged myself in achieving the ultimate victory over my only enemy, yet I can already feel that despite unequal forces, I shall overcome. With multiple voices singing in unison ‘yes, you can,’ I see the light at the end of tunnel. In the same way, as I’ve dealt with the feared grocery store lady, I shall not fail in my wrestle with the alphabet. Once in Tokyo, I will be the most impressive Katakanist, the city has ever seen.

“Is that all, young man!?!”

“Actually…, could I get a change for five hundred euros…and also, could you please pass me the 50-pound bag of apples…and by the way…this yoghurt has just expired, that’s half price, right?....you take coupons, Mrs. Katakana, right?”

Whatyaa’re gonna say to thaaat, grocery store lady?