* *

In Search of Coffee Time

“Suave molecules of Mocha stir up your blood, without causing excess heat; the organ of thought receives from it a feeling of sympathy; work becomes easier and you will sit down without distress to your principal repast which will restore your body and afford you a calm, delicious night. “

Coffee is magic – and one does not have to hold Talleyrand’s verbosity to appreciate the supernatural drink. It makes many men happy. It makes many men thoughtful. It keeps us all up (and going). Most of all – coffee is a communal drink. It tastes better in the company of others. Whether among my friends or fellow cafficionados in a random café, I am glad to enjoy the pleasant excuse to spend time with others, the excuse that coffee so generously offers. With a sip of tasteful coffee, in a nice coffeeplace, I think better, study better – and, perhaps most importantly, feel better.

Without a Japanese family (as enjoyed by my fellows in Hokkaido or Kanazawa), I have often felt “out of touch” with the Japanese culture. Please, do not get me wrong – spending time with other Yallies has been a blast. We cook for each other; we go out with each other; we study together. Nonetheless, recently, Tokyo began to feel like a big US Embassy Housing Compound. It’s sort of Japanese but not really. A little bit like a roll of sushi with peanut butter; sashimi with apple sauce or plum wine in a Budweiser can. In an attempt to compensate for the absence of Japan in Japan’s capital, I tried to watch Japanese films. Soon, however, I figured out that I did really not have to come all the way to the Land of the Rising Sun in order to watch Miyazaki’s newest release. Then, I tried to go out to Japanese bars and clubs, but found myself surrounded by American marines and German tourists. Hanging out in the Shinjuku garden proved equally fruitless – when attempting to converse with fellow gardeners, I often overlooked the fact that the many Japanese couples were more interested in conversing with each other; more specifically, in my search for meaningful friendships, I found myself blocking romantic attempts between the girls and boys I encountered in the peaceful settings of the Shinjuku garden. Well, too bad.

Many of my fellow Bulldogs in Tokyo seem to have resigned to their peanut-butter-sushi status. Whether indulging in regular “Top Gun- Rocky – Home Alone” movie nights or participating in an expat’s favorite activity, Beer Pong, many Yallies seemed to be reconciled with the diet version of Tokyo that many of us have long been complaining about….

Well… not me. With father Hope and mother Invention, I decided to embark on the epic search for genuine Nippon. Hopeful and inventive, I tried to syncretize my love for koohi with attempts to get out of the apple-sauce-sashimi bubble. And the fruits of my search have proved sweeter than the Peach-juice-infused-Chicken-breasts that the two Matts cooked two days ago.

Following recommendations in my city guide, I decided to study in a different Tokyo coffee place every day. In the search for a place to study, to rest, and to learn about Tokyoites, I found myself discovering a great deal about Japan – or at least about my perceptions of the great Archipelago. In the search for perfect coffee time, I have made friends with like-minded kids from Tokyo while at the same time observing that what I most enjoy about Nippon, Japan’s ability to borrow things from other countries, put them together in a fascinating mix while adding a certain contour of its own. In the search for coffee time, I experienced for the first time my own version of “Tokyo – Je t’aime.” Well-caffeinated and geared up to explore, I began to take pride in the city in which I have spent the past six weeks; I began to feel ready to put on a Japanesque variation of the famous New York City T-Shirt, ready for the my own version of

I ❤

Tokyo

Finding the right coffee place begins with the search for the coffee place. Seeking a site of respite has proved as interesting as enjoying a cup of coffee once inside. I have learned that the best coffee places in Tokyo are not the dazzling well-known establishments in Ginza or Roppongi. Instead, I found the most interesting people and the best coffee environment in little “dingholes” – small gems hidden in little street of Shibuya, Naka Meguro or Shinjuku’s Golden Gai. Likewise, my fellow Tokyoites seem to enjoy the intimacy of a familiar place – not a chain but an independent establishment, not an overwhelming European style coffee but a friendly Kissaten. In fact, I would argue that the best places are the ones that are the most difficult to find. Concealed from the sight of ferocious Shibuya 109-consumers, often hidden in little basements or not-so easily accessible upper floors, these places are a little bit like their regular customers – not so approachable at first sight, but ever more honest and enjoyable once discovered. Or even better – like the super-complicated Japanese alphabet with its four different writing systems, Japanese kissaten, once discovered, provided a satisfaction equal only to deciphering a sentence encrypted in Kanji, Hiragana, Katakana and Romaji characters.

Visiting Tokyo coffee places can offer interesting insights into Japanese aesthetics. Whereas coffee places in Prague and Vienna dazzle the visitors with lavish art-nouveau décor and the Parisian cafes with classic simplicity, Tokyo kissatens are post-modern in the literary sense – constantly redefining the definition of modern aesthetics, exploring the relationship between the West and Japan, referring to the past while questioning the present. Shibuya’s favorite, Café Zarigami is a great example of a “post-modern” coffee shrine. Upon entering, one is overwhelmed by raw references to the long passed industrial age – pseudo-rusty pipes run from the floor to ceiling serving as a vestige to a time where it all might have begun (at least from a perspective of a modern Tokyoite…). Wooden bookshelves contain French classics as well as contemporary Japanese novels. Franz Kafka’s Metamorphosis lies next to Murakami’s Kafka on the Shore; Proust’s In Search of Lost Time on the top of a Ozu’s Tokyo Story DVD. Meticulous high-tech speakers play Astrud Gilberto’s lounge music. Imitations of Le Corbusier’s chairs next to tatami pads, and most of all – the delicious coffee that only adds the missing element to the 5D experience.

In their eclecticism, Tokyo kissatens might epitomize the beauty of modern Japan – the country’s ability to take in what is good and make it even better. Somehow raw rusty waterpipes do not intimidate but draw one’s interest. Somehow Brazilian lounge music does not sound cheesy but inviting. Somehow the piles of great books do not appear superficial but genuinely intellectual. Somehow the mishmash of a Japanese café does not look like a mess but like an interesting experiment in post-modern syncretism.

Maybe, the Tokyo kissatens stand for Tokyo at its best. Like Japan’s wild capital, they bustle with creative energy – which may not be immediately palpable but IS nevertheless; creativity that springs from the respectful borrowing from other cultures while adding a Japanese element. Like Tokyo, the numerous little coffee shrines do not open themselves up easily; but once they do, they are as warm and tasteful as the coffee they sell. So next time, you come to Tokyo, just let the suave molecules of Mocha stir up your blood, while wishing your fellow koohi aficionados a friendly “itadakimasu!”

Party-sensee, take it easy

For those impatiently awaiting a new sequel to the Nishishinjuku’s Brave New World series, here’s a quick update on what’s been going on in the hood – who’s been rising and who’s been falling, who’s in, and who’s out, who’s become like totally smokin’, and who’s become like totally not.

Hailey seems to have turned into the new sex-bomb – at least as voted by the Sun Academy’s faculty. She replaced Mint who’s been trying really hard to re-establish herself (even purchasing, upon Heidi’s mean encouragement, a bright colored cap titled as “B.O.M.B.). Well, zannen desu. Hailey’s steeping up on the sex-appeal ladder has been more frantic than Stan’s attempts to recruit as many Nishishinjukes as possible for his Beatles-extravaganza. Hailey has been just smashing and dashing. Party-sensee started to refer to her as “ero-kawai” – (for those uncognizant of Japanese colloquialism: erokawai means erotically cute….whoawhoawhoa, Party-sensee, take it easssssyyyy…..). The conservative Republican-sensee started employing Hailey as an example of inappropriately dressed young lady, when she referred to her as “sexy-sugiru” – the little verbal addition “sugiru” usually stands for something that is “too much” – such as tabesugiru , to overeat or takasugiru, too expensive. In this case, Hailey was referred to as WAAAAAAYYYY too sexy. We should keep an eye on Hailey just to see where her star is rising. As of now, she can’t really rise that much higher.

Talking about Mint, one shouldn’t forget to mention that recently she’s been having insomnia issues. Whether from too much fun or too little sleep (wait….or from both?), Mint seems to have been having a certain difficulty staying awake during class time. Oddly enough, even upon being questioned by the caring teachers, Mint has been responding with a simple one word “DAIZYOOOOOOBU” often returning to the sleepy land of the light blue manga sky. Some, however, have been getting little worried about Mint’s incapacity to stay awake, especially after she satisfiedly slept through a visit to the Japan’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Some have overheard Kajikawa-sensee murmuring for herself “one of these days, I’ll hit the girl really hard.” Well, let’s hope she won’t. We don’t really wanna see Mint take another tumble, do we?

Some of Nishishinjukes have been making dramatic progress in Japanese. Many are capable of forming extremely complicated and meaningful sentences. One of the most skillful ones appear to be Devin, Benny and, here we go again, Mint. Devin is now capable of saying “When I enter the bed, the sleep arrives.” Benny can say “After I eat, the hunger goes away.” Nevertheless, Mint seems the most linguistically talented – now she can say “Watasi wa sitsumon zya nai desu – I am not a question.”

Well, enough is enough. This week, kudos go to Hailey for becoming Nishishinjuku’s new sex idol, to Devin and Benny for making dramatic advances in Japanese and, not to forget, to Mint for being a total

B.O.M.B.

Bad Touch

You and me baby ain't nothin' but…So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.

Like the Bloodhound Gang, the Nishishinjukes have been going balls beyond the limits of what is showable on the Discovery Channel. July 4 in Tokyo was deadly – and our dear Yallies have got it wild. Troy and Kevin made hamburgers, Bennie provided desserts. Gathered in Bennie’s room, everybody wore red, white, and blue. The hamburger sauce dripped from everyone’s chewing-occupied mouth, Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA” was blasting, and all Nishishinjukes seemed to be having a swell time. Until…

In the tradition of curvilinear mood swings, the “happy July Four” times proved unsustainable. To be poetic, a little candle, lit by Chinese girl Mint, burned the entire forest of Saturday night peaceful cohabitation. After paying extensive homage to Troy and Kevin’s hamburgers, everybody began to move to the next course. Bennie’s renowned apple-dipped-in-raspberry-jam-yoghurt was served. As usual, the majority enjoyed Bennie’s traditional delicious dessert. Everybody but Mint. After having tasted the first bite, Mint asserted brazenly: “I don’t like it.”

Everybody in the room froze and turned toward Bennie. Awestruck and hoping to have misheard, Bennie turned to Mint demanding repetition of her statement. For Mint, however, there was no way back – too many have heard her harsh judgment. She couldn’t but repeat, in its entirety, her previous comment: “Yeah. I don’t like it. There should be more sugar.” SNAP! “More sugar?,” said Bennie, disbelieving that anyone would have ever criticized his product with such immaturity and coarseness.

The room temperature rose by several degrees. Most conversations stopped and a certain air of awkwardness filled the space. Stan attempted to save the night by offering free alcohol (which he consequently drank by himself). Experiencing breathing difficulty, Bennie escaped to his bathroom to take a shower, while the rest of the company sat quietly on his bed. After his shower, Bennie was asked to lead the group as the night’s entertainment leader. In an attempt to assuage Bennie’s hurt pride, Hailey tried to cajole Bennie to think that the Nishishinjukes would be lost without Bennie’s wise leadership. And so Bennie grabbed his Tokyo City Guide, in the search of “fun” close-by bars. After a mediocre Karaoke session, the group followed Bennie toward the Shinjuku-goen, where according to Bennie’s guide, “the alternative meets the traditional,” where the fun was supposed to take place.

And fun it was. Due to Bennie’s guide’s misrepresentation of the Sanchome area, the Saturday-night-fever group ended in an entertainment district that provided more entertainment than the Bulldogs could manage a district which caused many a real fever. In a desperate attempt to flee the area, the unlucky 13 members of the Sun Academy became even more unlucky. Like the green tea ice-cream served after a not-so oisii Tesyoku, the poor Jukes began to melt away at the most feared sight: the One-Whose-Name-Cannot-Be-Spoken was cruising the ground, claiming to be exploring local Pornshops.

Kevin shouted at Bennie. Stan shouted at Bennie. Hailey and Mint looked annoyed. Troy and Heidi disappeared. Bennie began to cry.

“Come quicker than FedEx /never reach an apex /just like Coca-Cola stock /you are inclined/
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time.”

With the Bloodhound Gang’s tunes pumping from local establishments, Bennie felt worse than after having watched the mammals on the Discovery Chanel.

Kevin and Hailey decided to take off, taking a cab back to the mansion. Billy went to take a piss. Heidi and Troy returned only to suggest everybody walk back home. Devin saw the light at the end of the tunnel in trying to make everybody accompany him to his most-desired location – to the sketchy-ghetto-pinklights-tatooguys-streetfights Kabukicho. Everybody was too drunk to understand where Devin was leading the group, so the sheep followed. Bennie was to revengeful to raise his voice against Devin’s plan, hoping for everybody to realize that there was someone whose leadership is even worse than his own.

On the way to Kabukicho, the stellar Yale academics tried to amuse themselves, pretending that the passed night had been less of a disaster than it was. In the line with his preferred form of entertainment, Stan suggested a set of enjoyable Yale-fraternity-inspired games - such as jumping on each other’s backs. In the search for the sense of manliness lost in the district where the alternative met the traditional, Troy and Stan began to jump on each other’s backs. The entire game seemed nice and dandy and MOST OF ALL harmless until Mint asked to be allowed to join. Whether searching for her lost manliness or simply trying to rectify her previous Bennie’s-dessert-bashing behavior, Mint decided to join Troy and Stan in jumping on each other’s backs. Well…she shouldn’t have.

Energetic and lively, Mint shouted with more excitement than it takes the Party-sensei to hand out the homework: “Ready. Set. Go!” She ran for ten seconds and then jumped on the back of dazed and confused Stan. Whether blinded by the lights of the night Shinjuku or whether under the influence of Sake, Mint didn’t quite make it. Flipping over Stan’s back, our little Mint ended up flat on the well-carved Shinjuku pavement. She was lying on the ground for twenty seconds and then attempted to non-chalantly stand up - which proved more challenging than she thought. Trying to alleviate the not so successful attempt to become a fraternity pledge, brazen Mint approached Bennie, saying indecisively: Maybe, I shouldn’t have jumped.” To which Bennie responded with a strange air of satisfaction: “That’s right, Mint. Maybe, you shouldn’t have jumped.”

The Sun began to rise and the Nishishinjukes found themselves on their way home, each struggling in his/her own unique way to cope with the interesting course that the night had taken: Heidi and Kevin, comfortably seated in a Tokyo taxi, complaining about the inadequate leadership; Stan recovering from a back injury, Devin planning his next visit to Kabukicho, and Bennie, glad that no sugar had been added to his dessert after all, contemplating the immediacy of the Karmic law. Inhaling the fresh morning air in the Land of the Rising Sun, the not so-Academic Sun Academy students tried to understand what consequences the past night might have had; each on his own trying to grasp the unbearable lightness of the night filled with more entertainment than they could bear, the night of red, white and blue, greasy hamburgers and sugar-free yoghurts… the night when Misty went to the Pornshop and Mint took a tumble.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e13RGx1zVV0&feature=fvst

Rocking on with the Kanji God

Recently, I have been feeling the urge to comment on my linguistic progress. So, voila: a short contemplation of where my Japanese has been going.

Not to be a Debbie Downer, I should preamble the discussion of my progress by enumerating the few successes I’ve had.

First, Kanji has become easier to memorize. Sigh of relief. This is strange and mysterious but here’s what happened: Last Tuesday, I studied very intensely for the Wednesday’s test. As Adam Scharfman advised me, I wrote every single Kanji twenty times. Then, I made flashcards. Then, I wrote every single Kanji twenty times again. Then, I reviewed the flashcards. Then, I prayed to do well on Wednesday’s test. On Wednesday, I got 8 out of 21 on the test. I.e. I failed. I have no idea what happened but somehow I completely blacked out during the test. NONETHELESS, something unexplainable occurred the next day. After recovering from the Tuesday failure, I made Flashcards for Thursday’s test, hoping for miracle. And miracle it was! Indeed, Thursday proved extraordinary for my Kanji recognition abilities. On Thursday morning, I woke up in the morning strangely sure of my imminent success. And success it was. Having arrived to Shibuya few minutes before class, I sat down on of the 1980’s –not-so-comfortable Sun Academy chairs, oddly aware of how well I was going to perform on the daily test. Really, it was magic in the air. I started the test. And hello, wunderbar! I knew every single Kanji on the test. And not only that! I could also reproduce every single Kanji that I had learned the night before. Holly Moses.

Please, don’t ask me what happened. All I know is that the Kanji miracle, as I’ve been referring to it ever since, was sudden and completely irrational. Furthermore, it seems long-term. Whoa, whoa! Today (Friday), I did as well as on Thursday. I am still trying to grasp it but there doesn’t seem any reasonable explanation. I have been googling the phenomenon, and according to the voice of Internet, it seems that many other Kanji learners have had a similar experience. In fact, I have indulged myself in a self-produced explanation – I actually believe that there is a Kanji-god; a strange and most of all xenophobic spirit who makes sure most foreign Japanese language learners give up before they are worthy mastering the language. It takes a year of sweat and blood – learning Kanji, thinking that you got it, only to discover you forgot them all. It takes a year before the Kanji-god approves. Before he …(and no, this is not some sexist ignorant omission of he/she pronouns. Kanji-god can only be he, because there are no mean Japanese women. There goes my political correctness.) Before he allows his Kanji-servants to become memorable – to enter your memory and, most significantly, to stay there.

Well, happily, the Kanji-god decided that I should no longer be the Kanji-uncognizant gaijin. Instead, he made his mind to allow me enter the elite club of Nippon’s top gaiKOKUjins. From now on, my Japanese efforts can only get better. I have passed the most challenging test of patience in my lifetime (well, here comes Rene, the dramatic). I have been approved by the feared Kami of all Kanji learners.

If you’re reading my blog at any point of your Japanese career – and still haven’t been approved by the Kanji-god – please, do not mourn. If you keep fighting, you will, sooner or later, reach the Kanji-enlightenment from whereon the Kanji heaven awaits. There’s no point of return – I hope. Once you get approved, you still won’t be able to read 99% of anything in Japanese; NEVERTHELESS, you will at least start getting marginal returns on the hours invested into Kanji study. Cause you know what? Kanji-god is no crazy Wall-Street-Bull-Market Madoff. Instead, he’s a patient Tokyo banker. Dressed in a slim Prada suit, he invests smart and safe, shooting for small –yet guaranteed returns.

Bennie and the Jets

A lot has been going on in the strange neighborhood of Nishi-Shinjuku. In the few days, many have stayed the same, some have become even less popular than before, and some have risen in prestige – only a few, however, have gone up and down on the rollercoaster of Sun Academy’s Top 15. No none has, however, experienced the whims and quirks of Mother Destiny more painfully (yes, pain is the right word) than Bennie.

Initially, Bennie stood on a safe middle ground. Unlike those such as Heidi or Kevin, Bennie was the one to go to on Sunday evening – when all the cool kids were busy doing homework. He definitely wasn’t a Saturday night guy. One would go to Bennie for an afternoon snack (free food?) but definitely not for a Friday dinner. Long story made short, Bennie was one of those men who follow – not lead. In Shakespearean terms, not a Hamlet, but rather a Tybalt-like figure – a character that dies long before anyone else remembers him. Recently, however, Bennie encountered a strange increase in popularity. The real reasons being various – or oddly karmic. Maybe, it was due to Bennie’s good health (unlike those such as Stan or Kevin, Bennie has managed to stay relatively fit). Maybe, due to the fact that Heidi began to demand manual labor from her guests – such as washing the dishes (which is little Midoru-Kurasu, to be honest). Once having tasted the flavor of being liked, Bennie has gotten himself in big schemes. All of sudden, he started to compete with the seemingly uncompetable figures – such as Heidi, Troy or Kevin.

First, he began to participate in Sun Academy elevator conversations. He even contributed a few jokes to the discussion of Yale dining hall workers. Then, however, he decided to make it big in Shinjuku and so he started organizing night events that overlapped with Heidi’s! In the words of Eurythmics (or whoever they stole the song from): Sweat Dreams, Bennie, Sweat Dreams. The star of our little underdog from Eastern Europe was rising faster than it takes them to bring a miso soup in Yoshinoya. Despite his moderate origins (and a thick Tony Soprano’s-Russian-Girlfriend-like accent), our little Bennie boy was enjoying his five minutes of fame. Welly, welly, well. Uncle Luck has, unfortunately, not stayed with Bennie for too long.

In less than five minutes, Bennie fell from the heaven-high throne to the deepest nooks of Nishishinjuku inferno….Bennie’s fall has been as pathetic as his rise. In preparation to a class project, Takaitatemono-sensee urged the students to pair up. Troy paired up with Devin, Hailey with Mint, etc. Sure of his stellar reputation, Bennie turned around to make sure that he gets pair up at least with the Kanji-mega star Chevy or the timid Chinese girl, Sonny. He was nearly positive than none of the two would refuse the offer to work together with the self-proclaimed socialite, himself. Welly, welly, well. Sonny and Chevy have formed a China-clique. And holly-moses-praisethelord-hallelujah-damn-girl Bennie ended up with Misty.

That’s all.

Nothing else needs to be said.

Or maybe, one last thing should be mentioned.

Sensing Bennie’s immediate fall from the Sun Academy fashion runway, Troy attempted to exchange few words of compassion with Bennie, while taking the not-so quick elevator. Benny was too awestruck to respond in a full sentence. Instead, Bennie, in only two words, voiced the very essence of his glitz-and-glamor experience. Andy Warhol would not have said it better. With a vacant expression in his eyes, when asked how he felt about the infamous class project, Benny exhaled and whispered: “Bad Karma.”

And bad karma it was. Praise the Lord. Hallelujah. Bennie spoke the truth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0WCQadt864