Rocking on with the Kanji God

Recently, I have been feeling the urge to comment on my linguistic progress. So, voila: a short contemplation of where my Japanese has been going.

Not to be a Debbie Downer, I should preamble the discussion of my progress by enumerating the few successes I’ve had.

First, Kanji has become easier to memorize. Sigh of relief. This is strange and mysterious but here’s what happened: Last Tuesday, I studied very intensely for the Wednesday’s test. As Adam Scharfman advised me, I wrote every single Kanji twenty times. Then, I made flashcards. Then, I wrote every single Kanji twenty times again. Then, I reviewed the flashcards. Then, I prayed to do well on Wednesday’s test. On Wednesday, I got 8 out of 21 on the test. I.e. I failed. I have no idea what happened but somehow I completely blacked out during the test. NONETHELESS, something unexplainable occurred the next day. After recovering from the Tuesday failure, I made Flashcards for Thursday’s test, hoping for miracle. And miracle it was! Indeed, Thursday proved extraordinary for my Kanji recognition abilities. On Thursday morning, I woke up in the morning strangely sure of my imminent success. And success it was. Having arrived to Shibuya few minutes before class, I sat down on of the 1980’s –not-so-comfortable Sun Academy chairs, oddly aware of how well I was going to perform on the daily test. Really, it was magic in the air. I started the test. And hello, wunderbar! I knew every single Kanji on the test. And not only that! I could also reproduce every single Kanji that I had learned the night before. Holly Moses.

Please, don’t ask me what happened. All I know is that the Kanji miracle, as I’ve been referring to it ever since, was sudden and completely irrational. Furthermore, it seems long-term. Whoa, whoa! Today (Friday), I did as well as on Thursday. I am still trying to grasp it but there doesn’t seem any reasonable explanation. I have been googling the phenomenon, and according to the voice of Internet, it seems that many other Kanji learners have had a similar experience. In fact, I have indulged myself in a self-produced explanation – I actually believe that there is a Kanji-god; a strange and most of all xenophobic spirit who makes sure most foreign Japanese language learners give up before they are worthy mastering the language. It takes a year of sweat and blood – learning Kanji, thinking that you got it, only to discover you forgot them all. It takes a year before the Kanji-god approves. Before he …(and no, this is not some sexist ignorant omission of he/she pronouns. Kanji-god can only be he, because there are no mean Japanese women. There goes my political correctness.) Before he allows his Kanji-servants to become memorable – to enter your memory and, most significantly, to stay there.

Well, happily, the Kanji-god decided that I should no longer be the Kanji-uncognizant gaijin. Instead, he made his mind to allow me enter the elite club of Nippon’s top gaiKOKUjins. From now on, my Japanese efforts can only get better. I have passed the most challenging test of patience in my lifetime (well, here comes Rene, the dramatic). I have been approved by the feared Kami of all Kanji learners.

If you’re reading my blog at any point of your Japanese career – and still haven’t been approved by the Kanji-god – please, do not mourn. If you keep fighting, you will, sooner or later, reach the Kanji-enlightenment from whereon the Kanji heaven awaits. There’s no point of return – I hope. Once you get approved, you still won’t be able to read 99% of anything in Japanese; NEVERTHELESS, you will at least start getting marginal returns on the hours invested into Kanji study. Cause you know what? Kanji-god is no crazy Wall-Street-Bull-Market Madoff. Instead, he’s a patient Tokyo banker. Dressed in a slim Prada suit, he invests smart and safe, shooting for small –yet guaranteed returns.