It's a mooooooviiiiieeeee!

Total Recall

Today, my facebook status says: “August 10: the worst day of my life.” Here’s why: I overslept two hours. On the way to Narita Airport, I got rained on more than I had ever gotten rained on in my entire life. (Yes, the cyclone has reached Japan too.) I missed the 9:40 Limited Express so I had to take the 10:40 “Super-express” to the airport. Well, it was neither super nor express. The train was over ninety minutes late. Despite hearing sincere sounding apologies from the train radio, I did not really grasp what the “tame” of the train’s delay was – the reason why it was delayed. I was too nervous to make a significant effort to understand. Later on, I told everyone it was due to an accident. But I was lying. I had no idea. Long story made short, I got to the airport at 1:19 for the 1:20 flight to Sri Lanka. It was the only flight that was not delayed that day.

After a nervous collapse resulting from overtly ambitious plans to meet more than five friends in Sri Lanka in the next three days, I was told to call Sri Lankan airlines. The next flight is on Thursday. The cheapest flight back to New York on the same day was $3200. So, I decided to take the next flight to Sri Lanka. On the train back toward Tokyo, I got too exhausted for the city that REALLY never sleeps. I was weary, feeling down and not worthy the magnificent city of Tokyo. So, I got off at the first stop: NARITA town. I struggled out of the station (no escalators, no elevators, three pieces of luggage). First, I thought I should just crash on the street. After all, I’ve seen many successful Japanese businessmen to do so. But then, I decided to make the additional few steps toward the well-lit “COMFORT HOTEL NARITA.”

At the reception desk, the receptionist asked me for how long I was planning to stay. Despite very limited resources in my bank account, I just handed him my credit card, simply saying: “Until the next flight.” I got into my hotel room and fell asleep immediately.

It’s 9:02 PM and I just woke up. In a way, I feel like Murakami’s Kafka. Alone in a tiny hotel room, with no internet, and no watchable TV, I have a plenty of time to contemplate. At least until the next flight. I have no idea what to do in Narita – or if there is anything to do. I am little scared to leave the room - scared to find a Japanese businessman lying flat on the street in front of the hotel.

With little to do and plenty to recount, I might as well just take advantage of my misfortune. There is much that has not been told about my stay in Tokyo – the host family, the Sun Academy, the study time, and the party time, the studio and the street in front of it. Please, be prepared to read more thoughts on the life in Tokyo than I knew I have ever had. I will be spreading my wisdoms with more intensity than it takes Japanese children to feed pigeons in the Ueno Park and with more loquaciousness than it took the Japanese stewardess to express her sense of pity for my missing the flight. As Chaucer’s weary travelers in the Canterbury Tales, I am more than willing to share what was good (and bad) in Nishishinjuku; here we go…

ON PARTYING

We study hard and party hard. I am sure that every Yallie has heard some kind of variation on the same theme. We try to think of ourselves as the cool overachievers – who know to study but also to party; who are just amazing. In Tokyo, we definitely lived to the motto. Besides our study attempts (and there really were many), we have intensely explored what fun Tokyo had to offer over the summer. And please be sure, it had to offer much.

We went to little bars and then we went to big bars. We went to Karaoke dingholes and Karaoke cathedrals. We went to private parties and BIG clubs. We partied in Roppongi; we partied in Shibuya. We partied on our own; and we partied with the buddies, the teachers, and strangers.

Although often in a not so contemplative mood, we have also made a few observations while on the search for good times. First, we have learned that our Japanese counterparts do not know the limits to their party imagination. They like to dress up and dress strange. They like to dance on their own. The rules of no-PDA apply even after sunset. Techno rules it all.

Partying in Tokyo is an exercise in urban planning and communal experience. Entertainment district are extremely well organized – some clubs even provide public transportation for their party—goers. Tokyoites seem to like doing fun things together. In an order. Dinner – Karaoke – Bar – Club. The nightlife is as disciplined and organized as the daylife. Everything seems to be planned and organized to avoid any possible disasters, or more specifically to avoid any sense of something going as it should not be. Whether mega-clubs in Roppongi, or little bars in Harajuku, everything is perfect to the last detail. Just like everything else in Japan.

ON LINGUISTIC PROGRESS

Few hours ago, I was having a dinner on my own in an Italian restaurant in Narita Town. After ordering my meal, I was complimented on my Japanese by a pair of Japanese women. Soon they started talking to me, praising my spoken Japanese. I was very surprised to hear that. For the past year, I have been under the impression that I was the dumb kid in my Japanese class. Before coming to Japan I could not imagine forming a coherent Japanese sentence. And here I was, in a random Narita restaurant, conversing in Japanese without being aware of communicating in a foreign language.

The summer has been extremely helpful in improving my language skills. I have learned the kanji know-how. My listening skills improved dramatically; my speaking skills stopped making me feel like Yale’s ultimate shame.

I do not really know why the dramatic shift has taken place. I have several theories. Obviously, being exposed to the language for at least three hours a day has made a huge difference. Nevertheless, I believe that the reason lies in a strange understanding of how different Japanese language was. The previous sentence sounds sort of meta – but please, let me make myself understood.

I think that a major change occurred when I stopped seeing Japanese as an adaptation of a European language and started accepting it as a completely different linguistic system. Before coming to Japan, I was constantly searching for similarities between the languages I know and Japanese; after all, I thought that since I know other languages, mastering Japanese should be a piece of cake. Well, I was wrong. Japanese grammar and vocabulary is so unlike any language I know that trying to learn Japanese within the context of Indo-European languages is fruitless. Once I reconciled myself with the uniqueness of Japanese, the language started coming to me much more easily. I stopped searching for precise English/French/Czech equivalents for Japanese words and grammar terms; instead, I just started accepting them on their own. Kanji is no variation on romance alphabet – instead it is a pictorial system that works under different premises; Japanese honorific forms do not stand for a modification of French tu/vous – instead they are a representation of society that has developed set of grammar structures to reflect its unique social hierarchy.

As such, I am excited about taking Japanese at Yale after I come back. I already know that it won’t be the same struggle as it was before coming to Japan. I have already made the most challenging step in learning Japanese; I have already understood that Japanese is not some kind of English dialect but an independent language system that is beautiful in its uniqueness.

ON THE SUN ACADEMY

I loved the Sun Academy. The teachers were incredibly nice and caring people who paid enormous attention to each student’s personal progress. At Yale, I often felt that each student’s unique needs were not really taken into account. L1/L2 Japanese is an extremely challenging program that does not really take into account the inequality among its students. For instance, I, as someone who has never taken any Asian language, have been taking introductory Japanese with Kisho Watanabe, who, born in Japan, spoke Japanese at home, or with kids from China who already knew all the Kanjis. Please, don’t get me wrong. That’s completely fine. I’m sure that each student had his/her reason for taking Japanese- whether to learn Kanjis or to learn to speak the language, every student took Japanese, pursuing a different goal. Nevertheless, I had to start from scratch. At the Sun Academy, I felt that the inequality between students was taken into account. The teachers were very responsive to help each student with what he/she needed most help with. Furthermore, they did so in an extremely non-chalant manner; they never made anyone feel to be lagging behind.

Moreover, the Sun Academy teachers completely devoted themselves to make sure we maximize our progress over the summer. They kept reminding us of the language pledge, despite the seeming futility of their attempts. They spent more time on correcting our homework than we did writing it. They put more energy into class time than our constantly falling asleep selves. They had an incredible patience with us – whether we were coming late, whether we were dressed inappropriately for extracurricular events or whether we did not seem to care pretty much about anything. They organized great things to do after school. They hung out with us in their free time.

I must admit that I was first little unsure as to whether I picked the right program but after two months at the Sun Academy I cannot really imagine the other programs being any better. Although I cannot speak from personal experience, somehow I sense that the incredible amount of personal attention and care that we have received in Tokyo could really not be matched anywhere else.

travels with Troy

Kamakura and Enoshima

Keeping up with the 韓国人

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In Search of Coffee Time

“Suave molecules of Mocha stir up your blood, without causing excess heat; the organ of thought receives from it a feeling of sympathy; work becomes easier and you will sit down without distress to your principal repast which will restore your body and afford you a calm, delicious night. “

Coffee is magic – and one does not have to hold Talleyrand’s verbosity to appreciate the supernatural drink. It makes many men happy. It makes many men thoughtful. It keeps us all up (and going). Most of all – coffee is a communal drink. It tastes better in the company of others. Whether among my friends or fellow cafficionados in a random café, I am glad to enjoy the pleasant excuse to spend time with others, the excuse that coffee so generously offers. With a sip of tasteful coffee, in a nice coffeeplace, I think better, study better – and, perhaps most importantly, feel better.

Without a Japanese family (as enjoyed by my fellows in Hokkaido or Kanazawa), I have often felt “out of touch” with the Japanese culture. Please, do not get me wrong – spending time with other Yallies has been a blast. We cook for each other; we go out with each other; we study together. Nonetheless, recently, Tokyo began to feel like a big US Embassy Housing Compound. It’s sort of Japanese but not really. A little bit like a roll of sushi with peanut butter; sashimi with apple sauce or plum wine in a Budweiser can. In an attempt to compensate for the absence of Japan in Japan’s capital, I tried to watch Japanese films. Soon, however, I figured out that I did really not have to come all the way to the Land of the Rising Sun in order to watch Miyazaki’s newest release. Then, I tried to go out to Japanese bars and clubs, but found myself surrounded by American marines and German tourists. Hanging out in the Shinjuku garden proved equally fruitless – when attempting to converse with fellow gardeners, I often overlooked the fact that the many Japanese couples were more interested in conversing with each other; more specifically, in my search for meaningful friendships, I found myself blocking romantic attempts between the girls and boys I encountered in the peaceful settings of the Shinjuku garden. Well, too bad.

Many of my fellow Bulldogs in Tokyo seem to have resigned to their peanut-butter-sushi status. Whether indulging in regular “Top Gun- Rocky – Home Alone” movie nights or participating in an expat’s favorite activity, Beer Pong, many Yallies seemed to be reconciled with the diet version of Tokyo that many of us have long been complaining about….

Well… not me. With father Hope and mother Invention, I decided to embark on the epic search for genuine Nippon. Hopeful and inventive, I tried to syncretize my love for koohi with attempts to get out of the apple-sauce-sashimi bubble. And the fruits of my search have proved sweeter than the Peach-juice-infused-Chicken-breasts that the two Matts cooked two days ago.

Following recommendations in my city guide, I decided to study in a different Tokyo coffee place every day. In the search for a place to study, to rest, and to learn about Tokyoites, I found myself discovering a great deal about Japan – or at least about my perceptions of the great Archipelago. In the search for perfect coffee time, I have made friends with like-minded kids from Tokyo while at the same time observing that what I most enjoy about Nippon, Japan’s ability to borrow things from other countries, put them together in a fascinating mix while adding a certain contour of its own. In the search for coffee time, I experienced for the first time my own version of “Tokyo – Je t’aime.” Well-caffeinated and geared up to explore, I began to take pride in the city in which I have spent the past six weeks; I began to feel ready to put on a Japanesque variation of the famous New York City T-Shirt, ready for the my own version of

I ❤

Tokyo

Finding the right coffee place begins with the search for the coffee place. Seeking a site of respite has proved as interesting as enjoying a cup of coffee once inside. I have learned that the best coffee places in Tokyo are not the dazzling well-known establishments in Ginza or Roppongi. Instead, I found the most interesting people and the best coffee environment in little “dingholes” – small gems hidden in little street of Shibuya, Naka Meguro or Shinjuku’s Golden Gai. Likewise, my fellow Tokyoites seem to enjoy the intimacy of a familiar place – not a chain but an independent establishment, not an overwhelming European style coffee but a friendly Kissaten. In fact, I would argue that the best places are the ones that are the most difficult to find. Concealed from the sight of ferocious Shibuya 109-consumers, often hidden in little basements or not-so easily accessible upper floors, these places are a little bit like their regular customers – not so approachable at first sight, but ever more honest and enjoyable once discovered. Or even better – like the super-complicated Japanese alphabet with its four different writing systems, Japanese kissaten, once discovered, provided a satisfaction equal only to deciphering a sentence encrypted in Kanji, Hiragana, Katakana and Romaji characters.

Visiting Tokyo coffee places can offer interesting insights into Japanese aesthetics. Whereas coffee places in Prague and Vienna dazzle the visitors with lavish art-nouveau décor and the Parisian cafes with classic simplicity, Tokyo kissatens are post-modern in the literary sense – constantly redefining the definition of modern aesthetics, exploring the relationship between the West and Japan, referring to the past while questioning the present. Shibuya’s favorite, Café Zarigami is a great example of a “post-modern” coffee shrine. Upon entering, one is overwhelmed by raw references to the long passed industrial age – pseudo-rusty pipes run from the floor to ceiling serving as a vestige to a time where it all might have begun (at least from a perspective of a modern Tokyoite…). Wooden bookshelves contain French classics as well as contemporary Japanese novels. Franz Kafka’s Metamorphosis lies next to Murakami’s Kafka on the Shore; Proust’s In Search of Lost Time on the top of a Ozu’s Tokyo Story DVD. Meticulous high-tech speakers play Astrud Gilberto’s lounge music. Imitations of Le Corbusier’s chairs next to tatami pads, and most of all – the delicious coffee that only adds the missing element to the 5D experience.

In their eclecticism, Tokyo kissatens might epitomize the beauty of modern Japan – the country’s ability to take in what is good and make it even better. Somehow raw rusty waterpipes do not intimidate but draw one’s interest. Somehow Brazilian lounge music does not sound cheesy but inviting. Somehow the piles of great books do not appear superficial but genuinely intellectual. Somehow the mishmash of a Japanese café does not look like a mess but like an interesting experiment in post-modern syncretism.

Maybe, the Tokyo kissatens stand for Tokyo at its best. Like Japan’s wild capital, they bustle with creative energy – which may not be immediately palpable but IS nevertheless; creativity that springs from the respectful borrowing from other cultures while adding a Japanese element. Like Tokyo, the numerous little coffee shrines do not open themselves up easily; but once they do, they are as warm and tasteful as the coffee they sell. So next time, you come to Tokyo, just let the suave molecules of Mocha stir up your blood, while wishing your fellow koohi aficionados a friendly “itadakimasu!”

Party-sensee, take it easy

For those impatiently awaiting a new sequel to the Nishishinjuku’s Brave New World series, here’s a quick update on what’s been going on in the hood – who’s been rising and who’s been falling, who’s in, and who’s out, who’s become like totally smokin’, and who’s become like totally not.

Hailey seems to have turned into the new sex-bomb – at least as voted by the Sun Academy’s faculty. She replaced Mint who’s been trying really hard to re-establish herself (even purchasing, upon Heidi’s mean encouragement, a bright colored cap titled as “B.O.M.B.). Well, zannen desu. Hailey’s steeping up on the sex-appeal ladder has been more frantic than Stan’s attempts to recruit as many Nishishinjukes as possible for his Beatles-extravaganza. Hailey has been just smashing and dashing. Party-sensee started to refer to her as “ero-kawai” – (for those uncognizant of Japanese colloquialism: erokawai means erotically cute….whoawhoawhoa, Party-sensee, take it easssssyyyy…..). The conservative Republican-sensee started employing Hailey as an example of inappropriately dressed young lady, when she referred to her as “sexy-sugiru” – the little verbal addition “sugiru” usually stands for something that is “too much” – such as tabesugiru , to overeat or takasugiru, too expensive. In this case, Hailey was referred to as WAAAAAAYYYY too sexy. We should keep an eye on Hailey just to see where her star is rising. As of now, she can’t really rise that much higher.

Talking about Mint, one shouldn’t forget to mention that recently she’s been having insomnia issues. Whether from too much fun or too little sleep (wait….or from both?), Mint seems to have been having a certain difficulty staying awake during class time. Oddly enough, even upon being questioned by the caring teachers, Mint has been responding with a simple one word “DAIZYOOOOOOBU” often returning to the sleepy land of the light blue manga sky. Some, however, have been getting little worried about Mint’s incapacity to stay awake, especially after she satisfiedly slept through a visit to the Japan’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Some have overheard Kajikawa-sensee murmuring for herself “one of these days, I’ll hit the girl really hard.” Well, let’s hope she won’t. We don’t really wanna see Mint take another tumble, do we?

Some of Nishishinjukes have been making dramatic progress in Japanese. Many are capable of forming extremely complicated and meaningful sentences. One of the most skillful ones appear to be Devin, Benny and, here we go again, Mint. Devin is now capable of saying “When I enter the bed, the sleep arrives.” Benny can say “After I eat, the hunger goes away.” Nevertheless, Mint seems the most linguistically talented – now she can say “Watasi wa sitsumon zya nai desu – I am not a question.”

Well, enough is enough. This week, kudos go to Hailey for becoming Nishishinjuku’s new sex idol, to Devin and Benny for making dramatic advances in Japanese and, not to forget, to Mint for being a total

B.O.M.B.

Bad Touch

You and me baby ain't nothin' but…So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.

Like the Bloodhound Gang, the Nishishinjukes have been going balls beyond the limits of what is showable on the Discovery Channel. July 4 in Tokyo was deadly – and our dear Yallies have got it wild. Troy and Kevin made hamburgers, Bennie provided desserts. Gathered in Bennie’s room, everybody wore red, white, and blue. The hamburger sauce dripped from everyone’s chewing-occupied mouth, Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA” was blasting, and all Nishishinjukes seemed to be having a swell time. Until…

In the tradition of curvilinear mood swings, the “happy July Four” times proved unsustainable. To be poetic, a little candle, lit by Chinese girl Mint, burned the entire forest of Saturday night peaceful cohabitation. After paying extensive homage to Troy and Kevin’s hamburgers, everybody began to move to the next course. Bennie’s renowned apple-dipped-in-raspberry-jam-yoghurt was served. As usual, the majority enjoyed Bennie’s traditional delicious dessert. Everybody but Mint. After having tasted the first bite, Mint asserted brazenly: “I don’t like it.”

Everybody in the room froze and turned toward Bennie. Awestruck and hoping to have misheard, Bennie turned to Mint demanding repetition of her statement. For Mint, however, there was no way back – too many have heard her harsh judgment. She couldn’t but repeat, in its entirety, her previous comment: “Yeah. I don’t like it. There should be more sugar.” SNAP! “More sugar?,” said Bennie, disbelieving that anyone would have ever criticized his product with such immaturity and coarseness.

The room temperature rose by several degrees. Most conversations stopped and a certain air of awkwardness filled the space. Stan attempted to save the night by offering free alcohol (which he consequently drank by himself). Experiencing breathing difficulty, Bennie escaped to his bathroom to take a shower, while the rest of the company sat quietly on his bed. After his shower, Bennie was asked to lead the group as the night’s entertainment leader. In an attempt to assuage Bennie’s hurt pride, Hailey tried to cajole Bennie to think that the Nishishinjukes would be lost without Bennie’s wise leadership. And so Bennie grabbed his Tokyo City Guide, in the search of “fun” close-by bars. After a mediocre Karaoke session, the group followed Bennie toward the Shinjuku-goen, where according to Bennie’s guide, “the alternative meets the traditional,” where the fun was supposed to take place.

And fun it was. Due to Bennie’s guide’s misrepresentation of the Sanchome area, the Saturday-night-fever group ended in an entertainment district that provided more entertainment than the Bulldogs could manage a district which caused many a real fever. In a desperate attempt to flee the area, the unlucky 13 members of the Sun Academy became even more unlucky. Like the green tea ice-cream served after a not-so oisii Tesyoku, the poor Jukes began to melt away at the most feared sight: the One-Whose-Name-Cannot-Be-Spoken was cruising the ground, claiming to be exploring local Pornshops.

Kevin shouted at Bennie. Stan shouted at Bennie. Hailey and Mint looked annoyed. Troy and Heidi disappeared. Bennie began to cry.

“Come quicker than FedEx /never reach an apex /just like Coca-Cola stock /you are inclined/
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time.”

With the Bloodhound Gang’s tunes pumping from local establishments, Bennie felt worse than after having watched the mammals on the Discovery Chanel.

Kevin and Hailey decided to take off, taking a cab back to the mansion. Billy went to take a piss. Heidi and Troy returned only to suggest everybody walk back home. Devin saw the light at the end of the tunnel in trying to make everybody accompany him to his most-desired location – to the sketchy-ghetto-pinklights-tatooguys-streetfights Kabukicho. Everybody was too drunk to understand where Devin was leading the group, so the sheep followed. Bennie was to revengeful to raise his voice against Devin’s plan, hoping for everybody to realize that there was someone whose leadership is even worse than his own.

On the way to Kabukicho, the stellar Yale academics tried to amuse themselves, pretending that the passed night had been less of a disaster than it was. In the line with his preferred form of entertainment, Stan suggested a set of enjoyable Yale-fraternity-inspired games - such as jumping on each other’s backs. In the search for the sense of manliness lost in the district where the alternative met the traditional, Troy and Stan began to jump on each other’s backs. The entire game seemed nice and dandy and MOST OF ALL harmless until Mint asked to be allowed to join. Whether searching for her lost manliness or simply trying to rectify her previous Bennie’s-dessert-bashing behavior, Mint decided to join Troy and Stan in jumping on each other’s backs. Well…she shouldn’t have.

Energetic and lively, Mint shouted with more excitement than it takes the Party-sensei to hand out the homework: “Ready. Set. Go!” She ran for ten seconds and then jumped on the back of dazed and confused Stan. Whether blinded by the lights of the night Shinjuku or whether under the influence of Sake, Mint didn’t quite make it. Flipping over Stan’s back, our little Mint ended up flat on the well-carved Shinjuku pavement. She was lying on the ground for twenty seconds and then attempted to non-chalantly stand up - which proved more challenging than she thought. Trying to alleviate the not so successful attempt to become a fraternity pledge, brazen Mint approached Bennie, saying indecisively: Maybe, I shouldn’t have jumped.” To which Bennie responded with a strange air of satisfaction: “That’s right, Mint. Maybe, you shouldn’t have jumped.”

The Sun began to rise and the Nishishinjukes found themselves on their way home, each struggling in his/her own unique way to cope with the interesting course that the night had taken: Heidi and Kevin, comfortably seated in a Tokyo taxi, complaining about the inadequate leadership; Stan recovering from a back injury, Devin planning his next visit to Kabukicho, and Bennie, glad that no sugar had been added to his dessert after all, contemplating the immediacy of the Karmic law. Inhaling the fresh morning air in the Land of the Rising Sun, the not so-Academic Sun Academy students tried to understand what consequences the past night might have had; each on his own trying to grasp the unbearable lightness of the night filled with more entertainment than they could bear, the night of red, white and blue, greasy hamburgers and sugar-free yoghurts… the night when Misty went to the Pornshop and Mint took a tumble.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e13RGx1zVV0&feature=fvst

Rocking on with the Kanji God

Recently, I have been feeling the urge to comment on my linguistic progress. So, voila: a short contemplation of where my Japanese has been going.

Not to be a Debbie Downer, I should preamble the discussion of my progress by enumerating the few successes I’ve had.

First, Kanji has become easier to memorize. Sigh of relief. This is strange and mysterious but here’s what happened: Last Tuesday, I studied very intensely for the Wednesday’s test. As Adam Scharfman advised me, I wrote every single Kanji twenty times. Then, I made flashcards. Then, I wrote every single Kanji twenty times again. Then, I reviewed the flashcards. Then, I prayed to do well on Wednesday’s test. On Wednesday, I got 8 out of 21 on the test. I.e. I failed. I have no idea what happened but somehow I completely blacked out during the test. NONETHELESS, something unexplainable occurred the next day. After recovering from the Tuesday failure, I made Flashcards for Thursday’s test, hoping for miracle. And miracle it was! Indeed, Thursday proved extraordinary for my Kanji recognition abilities. On Thursday morning, I woke up in the morning strangely sure of my imminent success. And success it was. Having arrived to Shibuya few minutes before class, I sat down on of the 1980’s –not-so-comfortable Sun Academy chairs, oddly aware of how well I was going to perform on the daily test. Really, it was magic in the air. I started the test. And hello, wunderbar! I knew every single Kanji on the test. And not only that! I could also reproduce every single Kanji that I had learned the night before. Holly Moses.

Please, don’t ask me what happened. All I know is that the Kanji miracle, as I’ve been referring to it ever since, was sudden and completely irrational. Furthermore, it seems long-term. Whoa, whoa! Today (Friday), I did as well as on Thursday. I am still trying to grasp it but there doesn’t seem any reasonable explanation. I have been googling the phenomenon, and according to the voice of Internet, it seems that many other Kanji learners have had a similar experience. In fact, I have indulged myself in a self-produced explanation – I actually believe that there is a Kanji-god; a strange and most of all xenophobic spirit who makes sure most foreign Japanese language learners give up before they are worthy mastering the language. It takes a year of sweat and blood – learning Kanji, thinking that you got it, only to discover you forgot them all. It takes a year before the Kanji-god approves. Before he …(and no, this is not some sexist ignorant omission of he/she pronouns. Kanji-god can only be he, because there are no mean Japanese women. There goes my political correctness.) Before he allows his Kanji-servants to become memorable – to enter your memory and, most significantly, to stay there.

Well, happily, the Kanji-god decided that I should no longer be the Kanji-uncognizant gaijin. Instead, he made his mind to allow me enter the elite club of Nippon’s top gaiKOKUjins. From now on, my Japanese efforts can only get better. I have passed the most challenging test of patience in my lifetime (well, here comes Rene, the dramatic). I have been approved by the feared Kami of all Kanji learners.

If you’re reading my blog at any point of your Japanese career – and still haven’t been approved by the Kanji-god – please, do not mourn. If you keep fighting, you will, sooner or later, reach the Kanji-enlightenment from whereon the Kanji heaven awaits. There’s no point of return – I hope. Once you get approved, you still won’t be able to read 99% of anything in Japanese; NEVERTHELESS, you will at least start getting marginal returns on the hours invested into Kanji study. Cause you know what? Kanji-god is no crazy Wall-Street-Bull-Market Madoff. Instead, he’s a patient Tokyo banker. Dressed in a slim Prada suit, he invests smart and safe, shooting for small –yet guaranteed returns.

Bennie and the Jets

A lot has been going on in the strange neighborhood of Nishi-Shinjuku. In the few days, many have stayed the same, some have become even less popular than before, and some have risen in prestige – only a few, however, have gone up and down on the rollercoaster of Sun Academy’s Top 15. No none has, however, experienced the whims and quirks of Mother Destiny more painfully (yes, pain is the right word) than Bennie.

Initially, Bennie stood on a safe middle ground. Unlike those such as Heidi or Kevin, Bennie was the one to go to on Sunday evening – when all the cool kids were busy doing homework. He definitely wasn’t a Saturday night guy. One would go to Bennie for an afternoon snack (free food?) but definitely not for a Friday dinner. Long story made short, Bennie was one of those men who follow – not lead. In Shakespearean terms, not a Hamlet, but rather a Tybalt-like figure – a character that dies long before anyone else remembers him. Recently, however, Bennie encountered a strange increase in popularity. The real reasons being various – or oddly karmic. Maybe, it was due to Bennie’s good health (unlike those such as Stan or Kevin, Bennie has managed to stay relatively fit). Maybe, due to the fact that Heidi began to demand manual labor from her guests – such as washing the dishes (which is little Midoru-Kurasu, to be honest). Once having tasted the flavor of being liked, Bennie has gotten himself in big schemes. All of sudden, he started to compete with the seemingly uncompetable figures – such as Heidi, Troy or Kevin.

First, he began to participate in Sun Academy elevator conversations. He even contributed a few jokes to the discussion of Yale dining hall workers. Then, however, he decided to make it big in Shinjuku and so he started organizing night events that overlapped with Heidi’s! In the words of Eurythmics (or whoever they stole the song from): Sweat Dreams, Bennie, Sweat Dreams. The star of our little underdog from Eastern Europe was rising faster than it takes them to bring a miso soup in Yoshinoya. Despite his moderate origins (and a thick Tony Soprano’s-Russian-Girlfriend-like accent), our little Bennie boy was enjoying his five minutes of fame. Welly, welly, well. Uncle Luck has, unfortunately, not stayed with Bennie for too long.

In less than five minutes, Bennie fell from the heaven-high throne to the deepest nooks of Nishishinjuku inferno….Bennie’s fall has been as pathetic as his rise. In preparation to a class project, Takaitatemono-sensee urged the students to pair up. Troy paired up with Devin, Hailey with Mint, etc. Sure of his stellar reputation, Bennie turned around to make sure that he gets pair up at least with the Kanji-mega star Chevy or the timid Chinese girl, Sonny. He was nearly positive than none of the two would refuse the offer to work together with the self-proclaimed socialite, himself. Welly, welly, well. Sonny and Chevy have formed a China-clique. And holly-moses-praisethelord-hallelujah-damn-girl Bennie ended up with Misty.

That’s all.

Nothing else needs to be said.

Or maybe, one last thing should be mentioned.

Sensing Bennie’s immediate fall from the Sun Academy fashion runway, Troy attempted to exchange few words of compassion with Bennie, while taking the not-so quick elevator. Benny was too awestruck to respond in a full sentence. Instead, Bennie, in only two words, voiced the very essence of his glitz-and-glamor experience. Andy Warhol would not have said it better. With a vacant expression in his eyes, when asked how he felt about the infamous class project, Benny exhaled and whispered: “Bad Karma.”

And bad karma it was. Praise the Lord. Hallelujah. Bennie spoke the truth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0WCQadt864

1st week’s DECAMERON

1. 1 Housing is amazing. SANC academy provided us with incredible studios in Shinjuku and Shibuya. The area is extremely convenient. There is a convenience store on every corner, bus and subway are 30seconds away from apartments. Cheap eateries come in dozens (Yoshinoya!). The area is very safe.

2. 2 The school itself is located in the busiest part of Tokyo – Shibuya, five minutes from Tokyo’s busiest intersection. Walking to and from the bus station is an exciting experience on its own. Each morning, I join the crowd of Japanese school kids (in their emblematic uniforms), strict looking businesspeople and idle wanderers.

Tokyo at its best.

3. 3 SANC Academy has a great location and some very intelligent and perceptive teachers, who can actually speak English (a surprising phenomenon at least in Tokyo). The teachers are extremely polite, kind and caring. They’re all female. They are very skilled in letting us know about our social faux pas (such as when Troy was putting hands into his pockets while roleplaying an encounter with his Japanese host family). Nevertheless, some things have been little disappointing. First, the class sizes are not at all as advertised (at least as advertised by Yale). Judging from last year’s blog reviews, I was expecting a class of three to four people. No more than five. Well, in the second year class, there are eight of us at all times. Please, don’t get me wrong, I understand that some might view a larger class size as an advantage – after all one can focus on his/her own work (looking up words in electronic dictionary, etc). I, however, find myself being much more efficient in small classes. Sometimes, when there are so many of us, I don’t’ even get to speak for an entire hour long session. And then when I do manage to blurb something , it usually doesn’t really matter – since someone else is already waiting to speak up. Second, besides the number of students, the SANC Academy seems to be overwhelmed by the amount of administrative work involved in having so many Yallies coming in this summer. Random pieces of paper are flying all over the classroom. No one has any idea what the hw assignments are, and the tests are sometimes covering different grammar and vocabulary than they’re supposed to. I really love the teachers and I

appreciate a great deal their teaching abilities; it just seems that sometimes they can get little overwhelmed by their administrative roles...

4. 4 Japanese food is different. Everybody coming from either the US or Europe should be careful with dramatic dietary changes. I personally think that it is awesome to eat like the Japanese – sushi, miso, sashimi, … But my body has been not so sure of my impressive dietary shifts. Everybody coming to Japan for a short period of time should be aware that the diet can be very starch-filled and protein-less. I can see myself getting used to a different set of minerals and vitamins; nevertheless, there’s no way I could do so in such a short period of time. And so the nutrionist’s advice of the day should be: don’t be stingy on your food. Buy lots of fruits and vegetables (even though they’re mad expensive in Japan) and take it easy on eating rice (unless you’re used to it from home). This might sound as a silly culinary generalization. But that’s at least, how I and some of my buddies have felt.

5. 5 Study in coffeshops. SANC academy organizes only a few opportunities to spend time with real Japanese people. So you’re kind of on your own in terms of meeting the real Nihon

zin. But no worries. Just grab a coffee and sit down in one of the little cafes in your favorite hood and you’ll see how friendly everybody is. People get extremely interested in why you study Japanese (especially when they see you intensely working on your homework trying to figure out the damn Kanji…). One of my most language enriching experiences have been short conversations with random Japanese people in local Starbucks. In fact so much so that I sometimes think I would learn more just hanging around Tokyo than going to classes….oh, well, the innate wanderer in me… Beware though! Coffee can be really expensive – especially Starbucks. Some other coffee chains with a similar quality but cheaper prices are “Coffee Excelsior, Café Veloce and World Café.” I wouldn’t really recommend small family run kisaten, since they usually serve only as meeting points not as

study places as far as I’ve noticed. They would never kick you out if you claim the space as work environment for the entire afternoon. Instead, they would make you not want to claim the space as work environment for the entire afternoon. Subtle but efficient.

6. 6 Dress up. This is not a superficial fashionista comment. Tokyo is an urban environment and people seem to care much about how they look. I have not seen a single Japanese guy in shorts or a girl in a miniskirt. Body exposure is a big NO – despite infernal temperatures. The best way to fit in – as far as I’ve noticed – is to dress as the Tokyoites – i.e. nice, clean, classy, slim, and most of all, no nakedness. Obviously, everybody has his/her limits. I am not willing to sacrifice my flip-flops, other guys in SANC seem to cling to shorts. But there are always ways to appease the natives: wear khakis with flipflops, a nice shirt with shorts. One of our teachers put it elegantly; you don’t wanna look like you have “watasi wa Amerrrrrrika kara desu” written on your forehead.

7. 7 Japanese public baths – the so-called onsen - are amazing. You pay four hundred yen to get naked and lie in a scaldingly hot tub. It feels strange at the beginning but gr

eat afterwards. Visiting a Roppongi onsen with my SANC buddies had been one of my favorite experiences so far.

8. 8 Don’t be afraid to go chez Dior. Honestly, Japan is such a shopaholic culture that visiting the temples of de luxe is an experience of its own. On the weekend, we visited Ginza, the most upscale neighborhood of Tokyo and we had a lot of fun watching rich Kimono dressed ladies in their natural habitat – that is Hermes, Dior, Channel, Gucci stores. Besides, the buildings are so incredibly well-designed that many of us were more impressed by the exteriors of the Hermes store than by the Imperial gardens. This is obviously a piece of low-brow culture. It can in no way replace for the instance the amazing journey into the National Kabuki Theatre that we’ve undertaken today. Nevertheless, it is interesting to observe the comings and goings of the voracious Japanese consumer.

9. 9 Buy flashcards. Everybody has a different memory, obvi. But if you find yourself struggling with Kanji, I would suggest try using flashcards. They sell them at Office Depot, right next to the school, for 70 en.

10. 10 No fear Shakespeare. Don’t get overwhelmed by too much work. It’s clearly a trade-off between doing work and exploring Tokyo. I am trying to keep balance between the busy school routine and discovering this amazing city. I’m not really that worried about the tests. Last Wednesday, I studied for the Kanji quizz for more than five hours. I got 16/21. Yesterday, I spent time with my friends exploring our hood, studying for less than an hour. I got 15/21. Maybe, the one point is for many worth the additional four hours of busy work. Well….not for me.

Nishishinjuku's Brave New World

Today I was voted the male nurse of the SANC Academy. To prevent the outbreak of the swine flu in Nishishinjuku, our teachers decided to appoint a so-called, student leader who will make sure that Yallies don’t bring viruses to the pure nation of Japan, i.e. someone who makes sure that no one displays signs of influenza.

I am not pre-med. I have no leadership skills. The only reason for my election was the fact that I put my finger on my nose later than anyone else. Literally. Now, I am expected to go around the building sticking a thermometer into the armpits of fellow Yallies. It’s been an ok job so far. The only person that raised some worry was Stan who has been coughing since Saturday. However, having seen him in his natural habitat on Saturday (i.e. bars and clubs of Tokyo), I would think that his unfortunate condition springs more from his drinking habits than from the presence of the swine flu virus in his body. Today, I told him he should go easy on drinking. Hopefully, he’ll follow my advice.

The situation in West Shinjuku has however changed quite dramatically today. Hopping around everybody’s apartment, somehow I ended in Troy’s room. To my surprise, Heidi was serving a meal for Troy and Kevin at the same time, so I got to enjoy the well-searched for company of the Tokyo socialite, Heidi. Not to invoke Heidi’s anger, we held a pleasant conversation for a while, omitting any controversial topics (such as Heidi’s drunkenness on Saturday). However, the peacefulness of the moment had been radically interrupted. COUGH. COUGH. Troy, red in his face, excused himself while coughing into his handkerchief. Despite the mildness of his cough, we all froze immediately. Knowing the consequences of even the most innocent-looking cough, in an eyeblink, I plugged a thermometer into Troy’s armpits. It rose to 37.1 degrees. Heidi and Kevin started to pack their kitchenware, in fear of being associated with a swine flu carrier. Having removed the thermometer from Troy’s armpit, I left for my room. While searching for Kajikawa-sensee’s phone number, I quickly attempted to look up the definition for “EMERGENCY” in my electronic dictionary. However, I soon realized the limitations of my dictionary searching capacities: I couldn’t figure out how to read the Kanji character for “EMERGENCY.” And so I ended up sitting nervously on my bed contemplating Troy’s not so bright future. Interestingly, I found myself sensing less pity for Troy’s unfortunate physical condition than for the consequences that his potential swine flu represents. Having witnessed Heidi’s rapid departure from Troy’s room, I fear that Troy will no longer be attending Heidi’s dinners. In the SANC Academy’s Brave New World, there’s no place for the unfit. Bye, bye, Troy.