Nishishinjuku's Brave New World

Today I was voted the male nurse of the SANC Academy. To prevent the outbreak of the swine flu in Nishishinjuku, our teachers decided to appoint a so-called, student leader who will make sure that Yallies don’t bring viruses to the pure nation of Japan, i.e. someone who makes sure that no one displays signs of influenza.

I am not pre-med. I have no leadership skills. The only reason for my election was the fact that I put my finger on my nose later than anyone else. Literally. Now, I am expected to go around the building sticking a thermometer into the armpits of fellow Yallies. It’s been an ok job so far. The only person that raised some worry was Stan who has been coughing since Saturday. However, having seen him in his natural habitat on Saturday (i.e. bars and clubs of Tokyo), I would think that his unfortunate condition springs more from his drinking habits than from the presence of the swine flu virus in his body. Today, I told him he should go easy on drinking. Hopefully, he’ll follow my advice.

The situation in West Shinjuku has however changed quite dramatically today. Hopping around everybody’s apartment, somehow I ended in Troy’s room. To my surprise, Heidi was serving a meal for Troy and Kevin at the same time, so I got to enjoy the well-searched for company of the Tokyo socialite, Heidi. Not to invoke Heidi’s anger, we held a pleasant conversation for a while, omitting any controversial topics (such as Heidi’s drunkenness on Saturday). However, the peacefulness of the moment had been radically interrupted. COUGH. COUGH. Troy, red in his face, excused himself while coughing into his handkerchief. Despite the mildness of his cough, we all froze immediately. Knowing the consequences of even the most innocent-looking cough, in an eyeblink, I plugged a thermometer into Troy’s armpits. It rose to 37.1 degrees. Heidi and Kevin started to pack their kitchenware, in fear of being associated with a swine flu carrier. Having removed the thermometer from Troy’s armpit, I left for my room. While searching for Kajikawa-sensee’s phone number, I quickly attempted to look up the definition for “EMERGENCY” in my electronic dictionary. However, I soon realized the limitations of my dictionary searching capacities: I couldn’t figure out how to read the Kanji character for “EMERGENCY.” And so I ended up sitting nervously on my bed contemplating Troy’s not so bright future. Interestingly, I found myself sensing less pity for Troy’s unfortunate physical condition than for the consequences that his potential swine flu represents. Having witnessed Heidi’s rapid departure from Troy’s room, I fear that Troy will no longer be attending Heidi’s dinners. In the SANC Academy’s Brave New World, there’s no place for the unfit. Bye, bye, Troy.